Checking In

I have been out of touch most of the year. Today has been a rough one.

Bad things:

  • Hit snooze too many times.
  • Found the bug I’d flicked across the room a week ago. He three times his original size and I lost him again.
  • Hair color didn’t take on my sideburns (do women have sideburns?)
  • My over-medium egg popped when I flipped it
  • I stepped in something; gum or gummy or taffy – something sticky
  • realized I turned up the heat instead of down when I left for work
  • work was a shit-show
  • got a text from landlady that my rent check never made it (we’re halfway through the month)
  • some weirdo was leering at us after work
  • people’s feelings got hurt because I focus at work.

Good things:

  • Got to work on time
  • packed my lunch
  • ate my lunch
  • got praises for being awesome in a shit-show of a day
  • Getting reimbursed for my rent-check calamity and a letter as proof of purchase from my bank
  • got my order from the lady who makes everyone buy from her neice
  • found the bug, he’s dying – good for him
  • No pain

 

I stopped going to the doctor because the PT specialist weirded me out and it was expensive to go weekly. I still feel good but am probably backsliding a bit. Still losing weight. A lot closer to 300 than I was six months ago. I’m gonna say it’s eating regular meals and getting better sleep because nothing else has really changed.

I stopped dating because it’s awful. Stalkers, mama’s boys, meninists. And everything is my fault apparently. Too sexual, too prudish, too independent, too indecisive, immovable, too strict, too lax, not religious enough, too superstitious, too nerdy, not nerdy enough, don’t know how to party, party too hard, talk too much, don’t talk enough, Mom hates me, Dad loves me, friends love me, grandma hates me.

All at the same damn time.

Still have my goals but life conspires to keep me from them.

So, I started playing video games back in September. It was a hobby that I could use to 1) correct posture (I don’t recline and play games, I sit up, ready to pounce), 2) get out some aggression and stress, 3) take me out of my life. Worked but now I have a new obsession. Not all games just one. The Last of Us. It’s amazing. I can play it over and over. It’s got enough of a story to be a movie. It’s got enough game play to satisfy the beast. I was upset that there wasn’t a sequel or a movie… but now a sequel has been announced and I will wait impatiently for it.

I have played other games: Journey, Walking Dead Seasons 1 & 2. I also have a library full of them to keep me busy awhile.

I started reading again but in spurts. One weekend, I read 3 books. I’m due for another soon but it’s the holidays and I start projects and don’t finish them quite a bit.

My laptop died and I had to get another but cheaped out and it has almost no memory but now I have external drives that do the bulk of storage. Cloud services have disappointed and try to eat my files. Still, I’m doing the things that I like to do.

I am alive. I am doing mostly well. I’m getting to happier and happier places. My old friends aren’t… I don’t miss them much. I’m okay with my current friends. I’m still keeping to myself but it’s more of… I’m used to it than I seek to be myself.

I’m starting to be okay with myself. I love that.

I play video games. I collect comic books. I watch sci-fi. I read cheesy romance novels. I imagine a world of magic and dragons. I love me.

Tunes that I keep in my mind (Also trailers for awesome things):

Help.

So exhausted.

Shortly after my last post, my coworker Gloria got sick. She missed a couple of days. I stepped up, like I do, and made sure everything got done. She came back and a day later, she got into a wreck. she didn’t miss work, though she should have but she wasn’t at full capacity. It’s fine. Then a few days she ended up in the hospital. She’s fine, now. Had surgery and in recovery. I’ve been making sure that everyday there is a manager or myself on duty. I am not a manager.

The last three weeks have been hell. To the fair the first week was just stressful and I had to pick up an extra day because our manager is also the vice president and he’s been taking on more duties in the VP capacity, takes him off site more and more. Our assistant manager is lazy as fuck and does literally as little as possible and he took a day. So that was workday 6 and the only member of management on the floor. The following week, I didn’t work extra but lazy fucktard of an assistant manager and our manager performing VP duties and that turned out to be because his stepmother’s mother passed and so… yeah, death stuff.

This past week was just HELL. I had to work a 6th day. I’m so tired. Mostly everything was okay until Wednesday. Events: A overnight dispatcher was frustrated about the events of the night, so I sent an email to HR on his behalf. A dispatcher didn’t find their schedule printed and waiting per usual. He only asked one person and that person was too busy to look. He sent an email to the entire company that basically stated a supervisor in the field didn’t do their job. I don’t know about this for HOURS because no one told me. When I did find out, it was after the owner took care of it himself. I tell the truth. “My fault. Usually it’s there, I didn’t check, I will from now on.” I didn’t names though I could have. I just chalked up that I got complacent that other people would do their jobs but the person who normally did it was off that night and the other people in charge couldn’t be bothered. Next, I was building a case for the dismissal of a person who just don’t have what it takes to do this job at the level that’s expected. I was yelled at for allowing a person who had been a temp to get hired on. I don’t like getting yelled at for something I didn’t do. As infuriating as my manager can be, I don’t like him getting yelled at if he didn’t do it (I’ve rather enjoyed him getting yelled at by HR before). I said it. Our lazy as fuck assistant manager made the unilateral decision to hire on a person who did not have the mental capacity to do the job because he wanted a body in the chair. We were given marching orders and I got excited because I EXCEL at marching to a beat set in clear terms. A dispatcher got fired for falsifying a document that I took. That was my bad. The signature was suspect and the stationary wasn’t stationary. I should have kicked her out but at 6am, I can’t vet shit and it’s not my job.

I was going to treat myself to a movie but I had to sign for a package at home first. So I rushed out as soon as I could (still an hour after I’m scheduled). Package didn’t come. Didn’t come. Three hours later I look on the website. Plans cancelled cause I knew it could show up as late as 8pm. Damn thing was delivered 20 minutes after I got home and no one knocked, left the package or a note. It was in the leasing office and by that point, the office had been closed for an hour. So I took a walk with my rage. Only my neighborhood doesn’t have sidewalks in some places and my bad leg makes walking on uneven surfaces really difficult. But I wore myself out and came home and went to bed.

Thursday morning, I walked into an iceberg. Overnight crew is livid at me because they were told by their manager that I had “thrown them under the bus.” No clue what was going on, I was subjected to shade so dark and fierce that my toes are still frozen and my very soul is chilly. The overnight assistant manager handed me a packet and stated that I had to take them into my hands and she was checking out with me. I was still very lost. I mentioned the thing that happened the morning before but that I took the heat on that. Frost. I said fuck it and went on with my day. Then one of my fellow supes walked in and said she was accosted at the door by the overnight assistant manager demanding to know who was telling stories. Still fucking lost.

I got dispatchers calling in for things they didn’t bother to schedule out, dispatchers going to the ER, dispatchers doing so terribly I can’t abide them being in their current locations, then one of my supervisors’ daughters was rushed to the ER. I started moving folks around. Then my seniors started getting mad because “she’s just sitting in the office but I got three trainees and she’s going to take one of my mentors.” My boss backed me up before I even had to explain the situation in full to him. So when this person walked up to me with attitude, I told him. We’re strapped. The trainees can just sit behind and if you got so many calls that you and your other two seniors can’t handle it, call a code.

My supervisor didn’t leave because her daughter needed a Zantac and a good fart, not the ER. So I didn’t move the mentor and then the trainees went back to class. Life righted itself. I can’t stand to be accused of not doing my job when a) we’re short staffed, b) we’re busy and I’m handling all the codes, and c) it’s my fucking day off and I’m in the office doing jobs that are NOT MINE just so I know the company isn’t tanking.

It wasn’t until the end of the shift I found out the other shifts’ manager unilaterally decided her shift was full of fucktards (it is but not the point) and they weren’t doing their job and had to check out with me (without telling me) and that a specific supervisor had to hand me the packet (she didn’t) and it was all a result of the email I responded to the day before about the thing that was MY FAULT. She’s fucking crazy. Her interpretation of events was so wildly off the chart that when I asked the other assistant manager, he couldn’t even give me anything because he knew nothing. So, now I’m mad at him too.

I came home and went to bed for three hours, then I woke up and got drunk. And I decorated my walls. Here are some clumsy photos:

It took forever and it is so satisfying even if it feels a little incomplete. And yes, those dragons are swooping in to take a swipe at that unicorn. If I’m honest about it… the dragon on the far right is the one attacking and the one on the far left just wants to watch and really, that unicorn will probably fuck them both up. And fire. Cause. Fire.

I feel really calm right now. I’m going to take advantage and take a nap. Then I’m going to a movie.

Some music to sleep by:

Did I find me?

I feel good. I went home and I came back and that taxi ride home was horrendous but I survived it.

I worked the last three days with minimal drama. I did hate that everyone wanted to know how my “vacation” was. I could only shrug.

Going home is never the same. I love my family but we are so very different. Most of them were on their best behavior and I all but dared a few people to be their terrible selves. The only dig about my weight that my father made was when I hugged him in greeting… he couldn’t resist squeezing a love-handle. But he didn’t say anything and he didn’t make any jabs about any of my meals.

We watched the Rhonda Rousey fight and were glad we did so.

I went out with Miranda and some of the others after work. Not long just enough to detoxic from the week. Today is my Friday. I have the next day and a half off before I have to cover a shift for someone else.

SO… I’m hanging out with a Deep Ellum Double Brown Stout and The Guest. If you like stout beer, Double Brown Stout is a good one. If you like thrillers, The Guest is a good one. If you’re a fan of Dan Stevens, watch it. If you’re a fan of good-looking bad boys, watch it. If you’re a fan of half-naked men, just watch it. I can’t stop watching it. I love it. Also Annie’s Anthonio is my new haunting theme song. In the context of the movie, it’s incredibly creepy. So, I carry a bit of that thrill when I listen to it away from the movie.

I’m trying not to get caught up in the drama at work. It’s hard when people suck you into it.

I need a time capsule to capture these feel-goods so that when I’m not in this happy place, I can remember that it does in fact exist. I need some girl time with Laurel. We’ll make it happen soon enough.

The Balance

Not sure I’m actually balanced but I’m on an even enough keel that I’m enjoying myself in general.

Work is work. I had to dispatch the entire day instead of supervise but it went quickly and I wasn’t so exhausted when I got home that I needed to take a nap. Bad news; I’ve gained 40 pounds since I started this job. Good news: I’ve lost 8 pounds of that in the last week simply by sleeping.

I’m trying to stay even so that trend continues. I’ll sleep when I’m sleepy and eat when I’m hungry and go from there. I need to make room for a place to do some… yoga-lite. I can’t balance correctly for actual yoga but some room for some stretches would be good. It would work out the kinks and get me going.

I find myself fixated on people for odd reasons. My protege at work is getting himself over his head with the office tart and he’s been warned so I’m just backing off and letting him find out for himself what she’s about. I despise the office romance. I’ve banned them for myself… in spite of what is sometimes said about me and one of my former coworkers, that’s not a line I’ve ever crossed at this job.

I’m feeling ready to start dating again but I don’t want to go about it the way I have been. Random hookups and drinking with my fringe friends. I absolutely need to stop drinking with the management team at work. That’s just too much.

I feel I’ve come to terms with myself. I am, in fact, a morbidly obese, barren, neurotic and I kind of love myself this way. I could be healthier. I could love myself more. I could do and be a lot of things. So could everyone else.

I miss my friends. I see them rarely. I need to do a deep clean of the apartment this week. I’m going out of town for a weekend and I would hate to come back to my usual filthy existence. I should really stop living as if I’m in a frat house. Job 1 was getting rid of the spiders and I think I’ve beat the suckers.

I’ve been bolstered by the communities online… nearly as well as I was 15 years ago when I still lived at home. I don’t have the direct support I used to… I burned those bridges in a manic episode some 8 years ago. Still… The Bloggess is going through a time and I feel for her. I circled the blackhole earlier this here and it was hell on earth. I hope I never go that deep again. Jared Padelecki and Always Keep Fighting (Third round!) in conjunction with To Write Love On Her Arms has kept me from the brink. Just to know there’s that kind of power and response out there. I bought a couple of shirts around my birthday and wearing them to work and having to explain them gives me this… sort of power over myself. To be strong while I explain. To be calm. To not be afraid that today is the day that I have the panic attack in front of everyone. Just to educate maybe one person at a time about mental health.

I’m looking for all my old joys. Reading fluffy novels at a goodly pace, watching my shows, going back and watching old shows, dabbling in writing when I’m not otherwise engaged, listening to music. Singing. I haven’t belted in years and I’m working myself back up to it. I’m so critical of my own voice that I never learned to love it and my range. I’m starting to really like what my voice does… even if I’m the only one who hears it. (To be honest, I could have a mic and amplifiers and I still would be the only one who could hear me)

I wish it weren’t so hot so I could explore the neighborhood. I’m less afraid of falling than I used to be. I’ve embraced my gait fully. I can tell, by my walk, how much pain I’m in. I don’t feel the pain most of the time but if I’ve got a swing in my hips, my back is good. If I walk like an uptight robot, I’m in for a rough day.

I’ve even been thinking of hitting on this guy I get a glimpse of once a day but I’m a chickenshit and that will probably never happen. I would normally be thinking that I’d cross paths, mumble something incoherent and have to leave the state in my mortification. I don’t feel like that. Just find myself reading into everything. Like, why does he sit in his car until after I pass when he has enough time to drive off before I get to his lane. I do walk very slow these days. Does it mean anything? I don’t know. Probably not. Possibly not. Anyway.

Watching the Hillywood Show Supernatural Parody constantly is helping my moods. I don’t think I’ve even heard the Taylor Swift original but I do love this Deanmon.

So, lessons:

Usual me = 

Earlier this year me = 

Me, this month = 

OR = 

In any case, here’s some music:

Happy Wednesday

Wednesday at work are notorious for just … well, Murphy’s Law.

Today was bad and I wish I could say it was all work.

I woke up at 4am this morning after having slept since 4pm yesterday. I came home straight from work and went straight to bed. I’m lucky I locked my front door and plugged in my phone. No Facebook, no texts. Nothing.

First thing I saw was that my dear friend Ninjamin’s mother had ceased to be with us yesterday morning. Instantly, I felt bad not not staying up long enough to convey my condolences. I know they understand that people have lives and shit but I always feel like shit. It’s my bag. So, I cried through my shower and then got my shit together. I had to get through work. Then my newsfeed fed this video to me.

It was just what I needed. Laurel St James and Ninjamin would agree. I’ve shared it with everyone at work who geeks over this stuff like I do.

So, while fishing around at work for a ride to the memorial gathering on Friday, I was blindsided for the second day in a row. I do have to back up a few days for this.

Saturday morning, I was the first supervisor in the door. My other supe was late getting in and my assistant manager was also a bit late. Not unusual. Only this morning I had several people asking me where they were supposed to sit as their work stations were being moved. I had no clue this was happening. I had to sit through 45 mins of this before anyone could arrive to tell me what I had missed on my days off.

Monday, I was told, no we aren’t doing that yet. Just as long as it happens by Wednesday. Okay.

Tuesday. 9:35 am, I get Gloria telling me that my assistant manager was looking for me. ODD. Because 1) he’s off on Tuesday, 2) the manager was in the office and he knew where I was (as I had just left his office to return to my post) and 3) my cell phone was on the desk and it hadn’t rung. He rattles off a bunch of information about the phone changeover that is happening at 10am. I look at the clock again. I got 25 minutes notice on a multi-pod change over WITH intent to move the workstations I mentioned earlier. I argue that I can’t move the workstations as we were still going through the rush. And he gave me a band-aid solution that would work.

I get ready. I tell everyone in the workstations affected what was going to happen as I write it down on a post-it in a shorthand that only I can read. I tell my boss. He doesn’t know about most of this. I tell him I’ll handle it but I can’t let anyone in my workstation go to lunch until it’s done. Then IT walks in and his plan is different. I relay what I was told. We make it work. I let him know that I will physically move the people at shift change to prevent the most amount of havoc.

Sigh. Took 30 minutes to make sure everything was changed over as planned. Held me up from my main job for 30 minutes. Keep dispatchers from taking their lunches for 30 minutes.

Then the dispatchers who had to change their stations tell me they’re ready to move because they’ve had a lull in calls. I give up. I tell them to one at a time log out, then log in at the new station then call the old station to notify they were ready for the next person. It takes 20 minutes. I supervise.

Sigh.

So, today. Today. 9:40am. I get a call hold that my assistant manager, who is not at work today, has more things for me to do. More things that my manager doesn’t know about. This is after our training coordinator, a woman on the edge of a meltdown at all times, has come crying to me that she doesn’t know what’s going on and that she needs me to teach her how to dispatch out of the new system. She’s been our training coordinator for six months. Six months. She’s training our people how to dispatch but doesn’t know how to dispatch out of our new system. So when the asst mod calls with instructions for change over at 10am… I’m livid. I storm around connecting phones and finding there are no cords for handsets and no cords for the junctions. I find my manager and I let him have it.

Now, to be fair, the asst mod asked if he should come in. I told him no. I didn’t want to see him. I could, in theory, handle the change over. But, I got dispatchers crying they were getting calls for the training class. Now, while true, the training class wasn’t in the station to take those calls and they were calls that were supposed to be taken. I let them have it. When my manager heard all my frustrations, he asked if he should call the asst mod in. I said no, I could handle it. THEN, I remembered I was doing lunch checkouts and I couldn’t do it if I was babysitting phones for a change over. So, he called in the asst mod and I told my Manager that I was going back to the floor and to do my job and if I saw the asst mod, I would punch him in the face. He said that was fine.

I managed to get through the next hour and a half without any contact with the asst mod while I did my job, taking calls, checking in and out and sitting for lunches were needed. Then he tried to talk to me. I couldn’t. I gave him my legit complaints unrelated the phone thing and I began a discussion with my immediate podmate about the above video. That seemed to get him out of the room. He knows he’s in deep shit. Manager and Onboarding manager and I all had a discussion about the situation. I’m fine helping with these things… when I have proper notice. We’re short on dispatchers and it’s a short day as far as supervisors go. There’s 3 of us on a Wednesday. If one of us has to take a lunch to get the other’s lunch, we’re super short. It also happened to be a day when Miranda had a family emergency so she had to take her phone outside several times. So, I was running the floor. We had worked out our dynamic early in the day to account for Miranda’s family needs and Gloria’s blood sugar needs. Had I the information about the changeover in a proper timeframe, we could have managed it differently.

THEN, I had to find with Miranda about shift change. We’re under a no overtime mandate. Our folks have to leave at the appointed time and the new crew has to be logged in. I was yelling at the dispatcher to get up to let the next crew in and Miranda is yelling at me that they still had work to do. This was also true. Here’s the thing. When a company has shift change, there are things you can and cannot do.

EX: If you’re at Walmart and your cashier is leaving shift, she cannot start ringing up a customer and leave. She has to finish her exchange and then pull her drawer. The next person can then put his drawer in and take the next customer. The first cashier does not have to take the entire line.

Similarly if you work at Whataburger, if you take a person’s order, you do have to complete the transaction BUT you do not have to be the one to hand the customer their meal. That CAN be the next shift person.

So, I’m saying that we have two people who have to vacate, a third who has to stay and two people to take the empty chairs. If the calls are entered, our folks CAN get up. It’s bad form but if the boss says leave, you leave. The next folks will have to complete the calls.

I was checking out with my boss when Miranda came in and started bitching to our manager. I’d already run him down on the situation and so I was within my rights to do what I did. She continued to bitch so long, I missed my ride. Then as I was leaving, she had the gall to be sweet and thank me for my assistance… like I’m her assistant. I’m her fucking superior. By a week, but still.

I found another ride home, thankfully. I’ve had my identity stolen so I’m in the process of changing my everything. The ride was important so I could cash my check and pay my rent and my sister’s car insurance. Luckily, I had old magazines and a pair of too small jeans. I gave all for a ride to get my stuff done. Fuckin’ ruins your day.

Silver lining: I have my ride to the memorial, I get to spend time with my Denton Mommy before the gathering. We’re going drinking tomorrow night. AND I get to watch the above video over and over until I’m not mad or sad and can sleep.

Fuck work. Fuck overtime. I’m sleeping in tomorrow morning.

It’s May!!!

It’s been another long while. The never-ending roller-coaster keeps me inside my head too much.

I celebrated my birthday very nearly on my birthday for the first time in forever. At least I didn’t spend it alone. I got some friends from works, as they were the only ones interested, and we went out for a few hours to imbibe and eat and chatter and it was good. I enjoyed myself. I didn’t let myself get melancholy.

The ensuing weeks have been more down than up. I find myself finding reasons to go into work because I compartmentalize very well at work. I am a professional and I don’t drag my personal stuff there. So, in an effort to not deal with my personal stuff, I’ve taken to working six days a week and staying later at work… only…

Only about two days before my birthday, Miranda came back to work in our office. She was not invited to my birthday celebration as that was reserved for people I wanted to be around. She immediately started in on Gloria. She’s attempted to dig in at me but I haven’t let her. I’ve taken the approach as I’ve won before she starts so that she can’t cut too deep. It seems to be working but we get constantly punished for things that are not work related. If I go for drinks with Gloria, Miranda demands to know why she wasn’t invited. Not from me, from Gloria. She got snippy with everyone when she found out my birthday was a night out and she wasn’t invited. We went for drinks Wednesday night, just Miranda, myself, “Felix” who is a relatively new supervisor, Miranda’s kid and sister and one of her friends. It wasn’t fancy, it wasn’t special, it was $1.50 nachos and $4.50 margarita pitchers at Taco Cabana. It was specifically to detox from Miranda’s reign of terror… so NO, she wasn’t invited.

I do feel bad that she feels left out, however, given her behavior on a daily basis… I can’t bring myself to want to spend a single moment that I don’t get paid to with her. That’s the long and short of it. You can’t choose your colleagues most of the time. You can make the best of it and I’m cordial and I try to deflate the dispatcher’s efforts to be jerks to her. But that ends the second I clock out. I got enough shit in my life to allow her into my time off the clock.

Work is fine. I love my job. I love doing my job. She creates an inconvenience when she starts in on wanting to be “in on things” that don’t have to do with work. Maybe she’s lonely but I understood that she’s got friends of her own. A family of her own.

I don’t have friends these days. I don’t know where they went. I got Gloria, my senior supervisor, Plato, our asst manager, Felix, our new supervisor who’s doing weird things so I’m on the fence about him, and “Andrea” our on-boarding manager. I never hang out with any of them alone. We always go out in some combination that makes me feel safe (they are not privy to my agoraphobia as it pertains to my day to day) and we don’t usually get to talking about anything but work until the drink has set in. Occasionally some dispatchers come out but it’s not anything that is life changing.

My day to day is pain, low-level pain pills, herbal mood stabilizers and sleep. That’s it. I’m not happy. I’m depressed much of the time. I’m not dating. I just want to make it through the day without collapsing into a thousand pieces. When I’m not at work, all I feel is total and utter exhaustion. I never leave my apartment without a purpose. I have all my food delivered to me unless it’s something I can’t seem to do without. Thank Texas Tea for getting me out of the house every other day to get my fix of Peach Tea or Pecos Cantaloupe White Tea. Takes me a week to throw the garbage and I never leave without my headphones. The quiet of the real world makes my skin crawl.

I have no desire to find out why my friends aren’t speaking to me. I have no desire to talk to my family. I bury my waking hours in work or mindless TV binging. I’ll even sleep 14 hours a day if it gets my brain to stop for a day. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to go to the movies. There’s an Avengers movie out that I want to watch but I can’t drum up the energy to arrange a ride there.

In between those days of just mind-numbing sadness. I get these singular days full of energy. Maybe once a week. Random days. I always think that I’m better. I push past my limits and then pay for it for days afterward with more exhaustion.

I have renewed my efforts to get my moods under control. Try not to read too much into anything anyone is doing around me. It’s the only way I can keep my sanity. I do feel like there’s a spiral unlike any that I’ve had before just around any bend… for all I know, I’m already on it. Keeping out of the bottle unless it’s social. Hell, I’m not even using OTC painkillers today even though I probably should cause I’ve been able to feel each and every vertebrae screaming since I woke up six hours ago.

Maybe I will get off the porch today. Maybe I will find a way to enjoy some of my life. Or maybe I’m going to log off the internet for half an hour and dissolve into tears that do not have a name. I want to be happy, not sure how to get at it without a magic wand.

Maybe I’ll just fix the vacuum cleaner and get my house in order.

Up Too Late

Nothing much going on. Same old, same old.

Not highstrung. Not depressed really.

Not in a good place. Not in a bad place.

Got some creative juices going. Not doing much with it.

Up too late and I kind of have to be at work slightly earlier than usual. Beating the boss there, and I can but I’m strictly on foot these days til I get the car fixed. I sprained my ankle yesterday. I have a goal of reading some more of this new book before I actually crash. Did I mention the alarm is going off at 4:30am??

Here’s some tunes… and yeah, I’m a little obsessed, a little wallow-y, a little bit stretched between 15 years ago me and today me.

Sherri Miller – Waste My Breath

London Grammar – Strong

Velvet Chain – Strong

SanguinDrake – Get Up and Walk Away

Neko Case – Nothing to Remember

Trespassers William – Lie in the Sound

Cassadee Pope – Wasting All These Tears

Carla Werner – Wanderlust

The Civil Wars – Falling

The National – Lean

Christina Perri – I Believe

Rosalee & Steve Carlson – I Believe

There, just a sample of the 3 hour playlist I made about 20 minutes ago.