So, I’ve mentioned off and on that I needed a roommate.

So… I got one.

Seemed nice. Met him and his boss. Agreed to my low-low price and a fee for the background check which would come out of the first month’s rent and next day move-in. I was super-generous. I wake up early and go to bed early. I hardly ever see the guy.

The result has been nearly a week of the following:

  • “Yeah, I’ll do the app thing tomorrow.”
  • “I have to go out of town on Monday. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
  • Sour cream left on the counter over night.
  • Coconut shavings in gobs in the sink, behind the stove and on the floor.
  • Full cups of coffee in the bathroom. FOR DAYS.
  • Coffee grounds swept up with the Swiffer… sans the swiffer cloth.
  • SOAKED dish towels everywhere.
  • Stove knob behind the fridge.
  • Almost full container of kale left without its lid for two days. Completely wilted.

So, when this dude returns there is a chat in order.

OR… Tomorrow comes and goes and I spend my Wednesday afternoon hauling all his shit to the dumpster. It is fully ON.

I’m not to be trifled with. I only LOOK sweet. I don’t like being mean and nasty but it doesn’t mean I won’t fully enjoy when given the opportunity.


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