Yeah, I haven’t posted in a while. This post was supposed to happen on Thursday. I don’t have a good reason. I could say that making a playlist of epic movie scores was much more important but really… I just didn’t feel like it.
I’ve been in avoidance of the real world. Feels like the thing to do.
Had a wonderful Easter with Laurel St. James and family. Got to do some relaxing this week. Tried out Capoeira with some friends. Completely wrecked myself. I didn’t give myself new hurts, just woke up the old ones. Didn’t even make it this week cause I worked late…r than usual.
I’ve chatted with a couple of guys this week. One I’ve chatted with before. He’s moving glacially slow and that’s probably a good thing. The other one is charming and it makes my brain spin. I can banter in chat. Not so much in person. That in-person stuff is when my neurotic self takes over and I spend weeks going “why do I not shut up?” Then I retell the story and Laurel St. James snorfles so hard she falls off furniture.
The guys at work are letting me into the circle a bit. I’m enjoying that. I got to offer my top celebrity five with them. Mile marker. Only they tried to ruin it with porn star offerings when I had trouble deciding who belonged in that five. Men. Guys. Whatever. Gross. I feel a little better when I get to talk to the gals but… really… I’m not good with the gals either.
I wish this could be easier and I’m sure it could be. Overthinking can be the death knell in anything. I excel at overthinking. Just when I think I’m done thinking about a thing, I think about it some more. I’m still having moments where I’m regretting deleting a number because I think there’s still a chance but really, there never was. Not because I’m not good enough but because it was always a hopeless thing and I know better. BUT… knowing better is not always smarter.
There are so many unread messages in my inboxes right now. This is including that I started to write this post Wednesday night and I’m finishing it up on Saturday afternoon. DOUBLED the input.
“I lost my number, can I have yours?” I got this one from four different men and once in Spanish.
“You must have lasers in your eyes because you’ve stunned me.” I got this one from three guys.
“Do you have a jersey? Because I need your name and number.” Wow. Just. Really.
“If I had a garden, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.” Yeah…
“Yes or no: Do you believe in love at first sight?” This was accompanied by a picture of only his eyes.
“¿Te hiciste daño al caer del cielo?” Translates to “Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?”
“Por ti, subiría al cielo en bicicleta y bajaría sin frenos.” This translated makes no sense to me. Perhaps there are metaphors that I cannot grasp. It’s something along the lines of “For you, I would go to heaven on a bike and come down without brakes.”
There were a few repeats. There were a whole slew of duckfaces. Really? Guys are doing that, too?
I need to show some initiative but I’m bad at making a move. Overcautious and overthinking. That’s me!