Dating: Over 30, 2013 – Cont’d #4

I’m actually enjoying myself this week. I’m balancing it as best I can. Really early mornings mean earlier evenings and sigh. It’s the opposite of last week.

I’ve maintained ongoing conversations with one fellow. I know nothing about him. He’s shy. I haven’t been… pushy enough to get him to open up yet. It takes time for me to get comfortable, especially when it’s through a dating app. I kind of hate them.

Last night I got seven messages from dudes that I had briefly viewed their profiles and marked them as people I didn’t want to meet. They were persistent. And asinine. It was gross. It was in the middle of that ordeal that I realized today was to be Valentine’s Day. Yeah, I seemed to have timed my dating posts to land on Valentine’s Day.

I’ve never celebrated. Usually the only message I get is from my well-meaning gal pals and my father. I’m usually voluntarily single on Valentine’s Day. I’ve purposefully broken up with fellows to prevent the ooshy-gushy madness. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable. It involves being open with another person and I’ve never been comfortable being open with anyone. Even my best friends. They could tell you. They could tell you stories and stories about me. They could also tell you that I hold back. Maybe not even consciously. I just do.

The caliber of dude that I’ve dated before weren’t the kind to make grand sweeping gestures on V Day because we were fighting. They were happy to let it slide by. I was too. I’m still not too good with celebrating today. I don’t usually do chick-flick marathons unless I’m hanging out with my sisters and I defer to their judgement on what a good chick-flick is.

My go-to is blood and guts. I love action movies. Thrillers.

I had maybe one boyfriend who called on V-day. He left a message. I’d also broken up with him the week prior. He was fired that evening if I have the timeline correct. I didn’t call him back. He threw a tantrum at work. Dodged a bullet with that one.

I did get a Valentine’s message from a man today. Little weird. I’m not purposefully scaring him off. I’m just letting it be. That, in itself, is hard enough.

Oh, and look. My annual Valentine from my dad just came in. Thanks, Dad. Really. Really.

So, this week’s adventures. Disappointing and HILARIOUS:


“Pienso que eres guapo/a” (this one gave a gender neutral compliment that I had to google-translate. “I think you’re cute(masculine/feminine”)

“Do you want to see a good-looking person? Then look in the mirror!”

“Hola presiosa mandame tu numero de cell” (“Hello precious, send me your cell number.” Misspelled spanglish.)

“I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?” I thought this one was only a cliche example but it seriously happened.


“@*&%” This douche sent me a picture of his penis out of nowhere. Small talk, little flirting. Penis. Little penis. Ugly penis. Uninvited penis.

“… surprised to see your a book worm… Hienline… even read all the Harry Potter books lmao…  the pics i put on my profile i chose purposely… one i took at work… at home a couple of days ago… i want… see me on a normal day… don’t like putting on airs.” These were just the highlights. There was so much more awkward and trying too hard to be likable.

I just want to know what the point of the decline button is if it doesn’t prevent this kind of crap.

Well, it’s my day off and I’m going to eat tortilla chips and hit the grocery store when everyone else is on their dates so I can make salsa. Maybe also some chocolate. Maybe. I might not go into the world today. I might. I don’t know.

Yeah. I’m already having one of those days.



  1. Oh my gosh, I keep hearing about online dating guys sending pics of their junk right after first talking to someone. What is up with that? What are they thinking? Happened to some friends of mine recently, too. To online dating guys everywhere, stop it! It is not cool!

    • I know. I hadn’t been in contact but for a few days of idle chit chat. Now the fellow is blocked. He had “looking for a relationship” as his status but is clearly “looking for hookup.” I can’t deal with dating as it is and premature penis exposure is not helping matters.

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