What was promised…

Kind of. I promised a better post and I’ve been sketching it out all week. After events of last night, I’m not into it. It made me sad.

I work a lot of hours on a normal basis. I can reasonably stay on top of things by coming in early a couple of days and staying late a couple of days here and there. I recently hit five years as I mentioned in an earlier post. I was awarded a large number of responsibilities in the last month or so. Some I asked for, some I didn’t. There are things that I understood but didn’t speak up about because I wanted to feign ignorance. Then they all came to pass exactly how I feared.

What does all this rambling mean? I am responsible for completing my work, which is usually accomplished with 50 hours a week. I am also responsible for making sure shifts are covered, even if I have to cover them myself. This week, this added 15 hours to my week. If you’re keeping count, we’re up to 65 hours of work this week. Now, I was taken from my normal responsibilities by upper-management tasks, which comes in at about 10 hours this week that were strictly for expanding the program but doing no actual work on the program. I won’t say this time was wasted but it didn’t impact my work load by completion.

The biggest point in all this: I was not monetarily compensated for the extra 25 hours of work I did this week. Some of you will know this situation as the salaried position. Technically the week is still not over. Not until Midnight tonight. I could possibly put in more work. Strictly speaking, I did not add in all the extra time I did on the telephone pertaining to work outside my time working. I shudder at where that number puts me.

I just want to point out that low compensation, extra duties, overloaded caseloads and minimal benefits are exactly why employees burn out fast. I’m ahead of the curve. I’m still working at 5 years in. My spirit, if not broken, is definitely fractured. This is the point where people make mistakes. This is the point where if relief isn’t given, employees crash and burn.

I work in healthcare. I’m not a medical professional. I am technically in administration, yet I’ve worked directly with consumers more often than not this week. I enjoy the consumers. I make sure they have the things they need. I care a great deal for my consumers. They are the most rewarding part of the job. High stress and overworked come with the job.

I am glad to have a job after all I’ve been through this year… the last five years, actually. I don’t want to get to the point where I give up. I’m not the one who will suffer when that happens. There are inordinately few people who work this profession long-term and it’s a shame. The turn-over rate is very high, the burn-out rate is just as high. The population for this field grows but the employee levels stay the same.

I won’t say that I’m unhappy with my job but I will say that I am very tired.

Tired of not being able to make commitments outside of work because I’m afraid that those are the promises that I’ll break. Tired of only seeing my family a couple times a year unless someone dies, someone is born or someone is in medical jeopardy. I’m tired of being single because I don’t have the social acuity to make it work around my schedule and my various anxiety issues. I’m tired of being fat because I am so emotionally tired at the end of the day that I have no physical energy to do more than 20 minutes of walking around my complex or marching in place because my anxiety kept me inside once more.

To sum up:  I’m tired.

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