Bah! There’s a better post coming…

So, my plan today was to get some second hand furniture with my five year bonus. This would get me three items.

A shelf for a good number of my books. It was sold out from under me.

A rocking recliner because I am currently sitting on the floor of my living room. I almost didn’t get it. My truck loaner was very very slow to let me know if I could use it. I almost missed to meeting deadline cause I got lost when my phone went to sleep and I overshot my turn. I tried to give the old fella a dollar extra, because I didn’t want to pay $39 when $40 was so much easier. He insisted on giving me change and telling me about the good works his daughter does. I get out of there as soon as he starts inquiring on my relation to the purple heart plates on the truck I borrowed.


Has old lady hair on it but I have a vacuum.

It was at this point I encountered the hecklers at my apartment complex and the one across the street. No fewer that 10 able-bodied men watched me wrestle the chair out of the truck, up the path and sling it sideways through my apartment door. They pointed, they laughed but not a one moved to help or call over to see if help was wanted. To those sorry bitches I say: dudes, I herniated a disk this summer and still pulled it off. I’m an Amazon, motherfuckers.

I had to return the truck so I kind of gave up on the blue chaise and ran around to do some work things. On the way home, blue chaise lady texts that I can come get it. I explain, she explains. I offer an extra bill and she delivers the thing. It’s faded, slightly squashed but now I can put the lawn furniture away.


Slightly stinky but I febrezed the shit out of it.

What’s that song? Two out of three ain’t bad? I have living room furniture y’all.


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