Why can’t I stop ?

I quit smoking June 1, 2011. Thanksgiving 2011, I picked up an ecigarette to deal with fallout of the family get-together and a stupid romantic entanglement that went awry. But I have not picked up a real cigarette in all this time.

Now, I’ve had some issues with the ecigarette. I lost the rechargeable battery. I purchased a single use ecigarette. I lost it. Then found it.
Then lost it. Then I moved. I found it. It died two days ago.

So, I’m stressed out at work. I’m stressed about bills. I’m stressed about being single. My anxiety threatens to ruin my day about four times a week. My allergies and food sensitivities are threatening to kill me.

I just want a cigarette. A real one. I have to avoid convenience stores. I have to only go places that don’t sell my brand and avoid my enablers. I’m not supposed to smoke because it could hinder nerve healing.

When do the cravings stop? I mean, really.

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